


Finding Polaris

by ayellowcurtain



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Fluff, Light smut?, M/M, i might add tags as i go, traveling-strangers-to-lovers!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:39:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayellowcurtain/pseuds/ayellowcurtain
Summary: Eliott needs some time away from his family and from his broken relationship. He needs to get away right now. He’s finally done with college and now it’s the time: or he gets engaged to Lucille or he just leaves to live his life the way he wants it.It might be late, the ring is already bought, but he made his choice. For the first time, he chooses himself. The first, cheapest train ticket he can get. It was supposed to be his escape. But he falls right back into it. The most beautiful man he has ever seen.Nothing else matters he’s on the trip of a lifetime with a stranger.





	1. The train

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is my first time in here, so please be patient as I try to learn (while using it) how it works. 
> 
> And also, this is my very first fic with chapters in a very, very long time. English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes that I didn't notice. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the amazing, talented @starcassstic (on tumblr) for inspiring me to do this. 
> 
> Here we go, hope you'll enjoy it!

* * *

 

 

 

Eliott is finally done with college. After long, stressful years, he’s finally done.

  
When he was younger he thought college would be where he could be free, use and express everything that he felt into his movies.  
But he never thought about the bad part. The sleepless nights, looking at a screen while Lucille was sleeping right next to him. And he couldn’t find comfort in her anymore. She was part of the problem now.

  
Last year was the worse of his entire life. He felt like constantly drowning in work and unnecessary drama with Lucille and their families.  
In their eyes they were getting old, they were dating for as long as everyone could remember. It didn’t make sense why they were not moving forward. Both of them are adults now, starting new, successful careers and what? Would continue to date forever?

  
And obviously, all the blame was on Eliott who wouldn’t make the move. So he got tired of hearing about it. He went to a jewelry shop and finally bought a ring. Lucille wouldn’t complain about it, but he’s sure it’s not her “dream ring”. It doesn’t matter.

  
Now he’s here, graduated, hiding an expensive ring inside one of his snowsuits, trying to think of the perfect time to propose to the girl he doesn’t love.  
They’ll have another dinner with their families tonight to celebrate his graduation so he might do it before dessert. Right in front of everyone so he can avoid having to do it again or explain to someone on a different occasion.  
Just thinking about it makes him angry at himself. He gave in to everyone’s desires for his life once again. He tries to avoid drama and fights at all cost with Lucille and his family. They already have enough disagreements about his mental health. But marrying someone is an important step that shouldn’t make him this angry.

  
He knows his house at this hour of the day, his parents are working. So he stops by, making a mess inside his closet, finally finding the snowsuit, sticking his hand deep inside the giant pocket, finding the small box inside. He rushes out of the house before he can run into someone.  
Lucille already texted him checking if they’ll meet at hers at eight. He said that yes, at eight he’ll be there with his parents.  
It’s five now so he has plenty of time to take a walk in the park near his house. He never walked as much as right now. He finally sits at a bench when it’s six. It’s a nice ring with a big diamond on top.

  
He doesn’t know what he’ll say when the time comes and he can’t bring himself to think on something.  
He’s staring at it for minutes, hoping someone will see from afar the big ring and steal it from him so he doesn’t have to do it. The streets are getting louder with cars and people walking around, going home after a stressful week.  
Lucille’s home is three stops down the main avenue. He should go home, take a shower, put some formal clothes on, wait for his parents and then go to hers.  
But he just rushes to the bus stop, getting on the first one, straight to her house. Someone is leaving the building when he gets there so he holds the door, quietly walking upstairs, looking at her door.

  
The little box with the ring came inside a small velvet bag. He pulls the strings, giving it a knot and hangs on the door handle.

  
When he’s leaving the building empty-handed, he texts Lucille:  
 _I can’t do it. I’m sorry._

  
And he walks back to the bus stop, suddenly feeling like himself again for once. He didn’t think things through, but he ends up at the train station. The whole city seems to be there now, stumbling against each other, trying to get to their loved ones, maybe their houses, drink some wine.  
He walks aimlessly and in no rush. There’s a part of the station that’s almost empty compared to the main area. It’s been a very long time since he last traveled. Eliott sits in a bench for the second time tonight, taking a deep breath.  
It’s past seven when he looks for his wallet, walking to the main area again, buying the cheapest ticket he can get for the next hour.

  
As soon as he gets the ticket, he goes back to that same bench, waiting for hours to go by. It’s even emptier now. He recognizes someone walking, seeming lost. It’s not like there are many guys with that hair walking around in Paris. Eliott is almost sure they went to the same college, the other one seems younger, but Eliott can’t be sure.  
The guy finally stops at one of the trains, asking for information and smiling to the employee, getting inside. Eliott gets up and follows him, can’t believe his luck when the guy checks his ticket and lets him in on the same train that the boy just entered.

  
They’re two rows from each other, the boy seems to be traveling alone as well. He puts his bag on the empty seat by his side, sitting closer to the aisle, hiding inside his hoodie.  
Eliott forces himself to look away, can’t spend his whole trip staring at a stranger. He sits more comfortably, checking his pockets to see what he’s taking on this week-long trip: his wallet, his phone, headphones and an old cap shoved inside one of the pockets from his coat. Now he’s thankful to be wearing a leather jacket, a hoodie and a black t-shirt underneath. At least he has some options for the next few days. He checks his bank account, there’s enough money for a hotel room and some new clothes.

  
When the train closes the doors, there’s a small family sitting around him. The older brother sitting by his side, already with his headphones on, looking outside the window. The mom and dad are sitting across from them and the little sister on the mom’s lap.  
He looks to the other boy and he’s still alone, with three empty seats around him. Eliott is tall and these seats are not comfortable enough. He can just walk up to the other guy, asking if he can sit there.

He puts his shoes back on, leaving his seat, walking up to the boy. He seems tired, takes a second for him to look up, seeing that someone wants to talk to him.

  
“Hey, can I sit here?” He was going to explain why he needed to sit there, but the other one is already nodding slightly and Eliott just sits right in front of him, taking his jacket off and putting it by his side. “I’m Eliott.”

  
“Hm, I’m Lucas.”

  
“Nice to meet you.”

  
“Nice to meet you too.” Eliott finally leans against his seat, relaxing and Lucas is still looking at him but when Eliott tries to meet his eyes, Lucas looks away, searching for something on his backpack by his side.

  
He doesn’t want to be a creep, but he can’t stop looking, he tries to be subtle about it, watching as Lucas gets his headphones connected it to his phone, seems to look for a specific song. As soon as he settles, relaxing against the back of his seat, Eliott looks away, starting to do the exact same: fishing for his headphones inside his jacket, connecting it to his phone but he lets it on shuffle, finally looking up again.

  
Lucas is not scared. He doesn’t look away this time, but he looks very tired.

His eyes are getting smaller by the second. Eliott is also tired but not as much as he thought he would be after such a long and stressful day. Lucas starts to struggle to keep his eyes open. He’s blinking slowly and Eliott smiles when the other one opens his eyes just one last time and then he’s sleeping.

  
Now that he’s alone, Eliott takes his shoes off again, turning just a little to the side to see the outside world, Paris being left behind, but he can still see Lucas with the corner of his eyes. They have a few hours to rest so Eliott closes his eyes, smiling without knowing exactly why.


	2. The hotel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliott is not one to do things recklessly. He was when he was younger as a rebellious act against his overprotective parents.  
> But he needs to find a place to stay for the next week. And the boy, Lucas, is going a few steps ahead in the same direction. He’s not following him but it’s nice to have some extra time looking at a very good looking guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again for the amazing @starca2tic for the inspiration and help writing this chapter. <3
> 
> And thank you to all of you who read the first chapter, I'm so happy that everyone seems to be enjoying it.  
> If you want to, you can find me also on tumblr: @ayellowcurtain 
> 
> Thank you again, everyone!

* * *

 

Eliott is not one to do things recklessly. He did when he was younger as a rebellious act against his overprotective parents.

But he needs to find a place to stay for the next week. And the boy, Lucas, is going a few steps ahead in the same direction. Eliott is not following him but it’s nice to have some extra time looking at a very good looking guy.

His heart is racing and he smiles when Lucas looks back, his blue eyes stopping on Eliott, clearly wanting to check if he is following. He doesn’t want to make the other one uncomfortable, but they’re really going in the same direction and their little game of stares is exciting.

Lucas stops abruptly and Eliott almost stumbles against him. Lucas laughs, putting a hand on his chest, making him stop on his track.

“What are you doing?” They both laugh and Eliott looks at him. He’s so fucking handsome that Eliott has trouble thinking on what to say without sounding like a lie or a creepy excuse.  

“Nothing! I need to find somewhere to sleep. A hotel, hopefully.”

“You’re following me.” Lucas is not asking, he’s sort of accusing but his tone is not very serious and he still has a little smile on his face.

“No, I’m not!” Eliott puts a hand on top of Lucas’ on his chest and the other one seems to finally realize his hand still on Eliott’s chest, taking it off a second later.

“Yes, you are.”

“I promise. We just happen to be going to the same direction which is towards the city center” Lucas doesn’t believe him and he does this cute little thing with his eyes and he also pouts a little, Lucas has a very expressive face and it’s telling Eliott that he’s not buying his story so he reassures: “I’m not a stalker, I swear.”

“Ok.”

“Ok. But I could use some recommendations on where to stay.” Eliott tries since they’re already here, talking, might as well spend some extra minutes with Lucas, maybe the other one will finally decide to give Eliott his time and attention.

“I don’t know the city either so I don’t really have recommendations.”

“Can I walk with you to your hotel then?” Lucas smiles wider again, looking at his feet then back to Eliott, raising his eyebrows.

“I thought you weren’t following you.”

“It would be nice to spend more time with you but if you don’t want to, I’ll go my way.” Eliott shrugs, hoping that his strategy works. Lucas seems to think for a second but not too long. He doesn’t seem the passive-aggressive type.

“Ok, maybe they’ll have some empty rooms.”

“Hopefully.”

Eliott laughs when Lucas takes a little longer to look away and start walking again. They don’t really talk for most of their walk to the hotel. Lucas is not even trying, walking almost a meter away from Eliott, busy with his phone most of the time.

Maybe he has a girlfriend. Or someone.

Eliott feels like he’s a fugitive and yet he’s already trying to get this guy’s attention.

“Why are you doing this?” Lucas asks out of nowhere and Eliott has to think for a second, trying to remember what Lucas is talking about. Seeming to notice his confusion, Lucas elaborates. “Trying to know me.”

“I don’t really know actually. I like looking at you.”

Lucas smiles, nodding and taking too long to answer again.

“So I’m just a pretty face?” He turns, walking sideways to stare at Eliott, watching his every move.

“For now. But if you want…” Eliott stops himself mid-sentence, not wanting to push the limits too much.

“I don’t know you. We don’t know each other.” Lucas explains it slowly like he’s talking to a child.

“At least we can get one more friend in our lives. I could use more friends, actually.” Lucas turns to walk normally again, he always takes so long to answer that if Eliott wasn’t anxious or insecure about pursuing him, he definitely is now.

“You’re really upfront, huh?”

“Not really. But I would like to try it this week. And you? How would you describe yourself?” Eliott tries to change the subject, make it light and fun again. They barely know each other, Lucas is right, maybe they need some time. But Eliott can still be honest.

“Not bold, at all.”

“You seem confident to me.”

“Really? Why?” Lucas frowns but he’s smiling, but that doesn’t really count, he seems to have an easy smile always ready to appear on his lips.

“I don’t know, the way you walk and the way you present yourself.”

“I think I’m good at acting like I’m cool when I’m not.” He shrugs, putting a hand on the top of his head, making little circular movements to style his hair apparently. Eliott has to force his hands not to touch it too, see if it’s as soft as it looks.

“Got it. It really doesn’t show your uncoolness if you really want to know.”

“Thank you, I guess.”

They continue their walk in silence again, just exchanging little glances from time to time and Lucas just points where they have to turn. His hotel is on a hill just meters away from the beach.

Lucas checks in and the lady in the small reception gives him the keys to his room but he stays by Eliott’s side, watching as he tries to find a room for himself but the same lady that just talked to Lucas says that the hotel is full. He’ll have to find somewhere else to stay and he’ll probably never see Lucas again.

The lady seems to get the wrong message with Lucas still there, seeming to be waiting for Eliott.

“You can stay with your friend for a few hours while I try to find you a room.”

Lucas looks at her like she suddenly has two heads instead of one and Eliott feels like he overstayed already.

“It’s ok, I’ll walk around the city for a little.” He doesn’t wanna say it on her face that he’ll go to another hotel but Lucas finally decides to say something.

“You can stay. If you want. In my room.” Lucas looks at him but moves his gaze to his chest, anywhere but Eliott’s eyes.

“No, it’s ok, really. I’m sure I’ll find somewhere else.”

“It’s just for a few hours, Eliott. Maybe tomorrow they’ll have a room.”

He just looks at Lucas, trying to make sure that it’s ok to share his room with a stranger for a few hours. The boy doesn’t seem too worried so he thanks the receptionist and follows Lucas to the elevator.

There’s an awkward silence between them, facing each other, leaning against opposite walls. Eliott is the one to look away, staring at his feet. Lucas is really not scared, staring at Eliott with his big blue eyes, seeming so confident and curious.

Eliott only looks up when he hears the other one laughing.

“You’re so weird.”

“I’m bipolar, but I think weird is fitting.” He smiles when he notices that he finally surprised Lucas. The other one has his lips parted, Eliott can almost hear his brain working, trying to sort something out to say.

“I’m sorry.” Lucas gives up, saying just the obvious.

“It’s no big deal, relax.” Lucas nods but he’s still looking at Eliott, saying sorry again without using his words. Eliott holds the elevator door open, letting Lucas get out first and he follows.

It’s a good bedroom, but not too big, with a bathroom. Eliott tries to stay out of Lucas’ way, it’s not his bedroom, he’s not paying for it so he doesn’t want to bother Lucas too much. But he notices that Lucas doesn’t seem too happy with the bedroom.

“You don’t seem too happy…” Lucas drops his bag on the only double bed available, sighting, he suddenly looks exhausted from their trip. He slept the whole time but it’s still uncomfortable to sleep while sitting in a small seat inside a moving train.

“Yeah, I thought it would be better...but it’s only for a few days, so it’s no big deal.”

“I have some money...I’m sure we could afford a better room together. Like you said, it’s just for a few days.” Eliott shrugs, looking at the other one, waiting for an answer.

“Like I told you: we don’t know each other.”

Eliott knows Lucas is serious but he doesn’t look like it, he’s trying not to laugh and Eliott tries not to think too much about it. How everything between them seems to be a game of push and pull to see who gives up first and takes the first step.

“If you think we could kill each other or do any harm, I’m pretty sure both of us had tons of opportunities and nothing bad happened.”

Lucas sighs loudly, looking around him and back to Eliott, getting his backpack again.

“Ok, so I guess we’ll share some comfortable, with a nice bathroom, type of bedroom.” Eliott laughs, guess he’ll have to spend some extra money to provide Lucas the bedroom that he wants.

“Whatever you say, sir.” Eliott shrugs, excited, getting out of the room, waiting for Lucas.

  



	3. The beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the "light smut", people!! It's like...nothing but I thought I should let everyone know beforehand.   
> Let me know your thoughts <3

* * *

 

 

 

They managed to find a better bedroom that they could share. It only took a few hours exploring the neighborhood and sitting around the hotel hall. It has two queen-size beds, some nice view of the beach and a fancy bathroom. 

The hotel even gave them some snacks as an apology for the long wait. They ate everything in a minute, exchanging some of the snacks because Lucas doesn’t like peanuts so Eliott ate the chocolate bars that had it and Eliott hates cherry with chocolate so Lucas had to eat the tiny cake with it. 

Lucas is the first one to get in the shower, looking at Eliott for a second too long before entering the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

Eliott lays down on his bed, staring at the white bathroom door, listening to the water hit the bathtub after running down Lucas’ body. The other one is listening to some song Eliott doesn’t recognize. It’s not too loud and Eliott finds it so soothing. After a long day, he could sleep right there, listening to the water and the music in the distance, almost like a whisper, calming his nerves.

But he needs to take a shower, he’s feeling dirty and right now nothing sounds better than a hot, relaxing shower before bed. The sheets feel so soft underneath him. And there’s a heavy duvet that he can’t wait to throw on top of him tonight, the weight will help him relax. 

He checks his phone, he has a million unread messages again. He texted his parents as soon as they got to the hotel, telling them that he was ok, that he would be back in a few days. Apparently, it wasn’t enough to calm them down. He doesn’t open the messages, just check the previews and it’s more than enough. 

“Hey, hm, you can go now, if you want.” Eliott jolts on the mattress, letting his phone fall on his chest. 

“ _Putain_...thanks!” He sits on the bed, leaving his phone on the nightstand as he watches Lucas put all his dirty clothes away in a bag. 

“I can borrow you some clothes if you want.” Lucas sits on his bed, drying his hair with his towel. His hair is pointing to every possible direction for a second before he can run his fingers through his hair strands, putting it all in place again, still waiting for an answer. 

“It’s fine. I’m gonna go shopping one of these days, you can go with me if you want.” Lucas smiles at him, nodding his head, getting up to find a t-shirt to put on. Eliott creates the courage to leave his comfy bed, taking his socks and coat off, leaving it wherever it lands. He doesn't have clean clothes so he'll have to improvise for the night. Lucas lies down on his bed, sighing and they both laugh. When he's about to close the bathroom door, he can see Lucas settling underneath the covers. 

Eliott takes his time in the shower. When he gets out of the steamy bathroom, the bedroom is completely dark already and Lucas is sleeping, drooling a little on his pillow. Eliott smiles, staring at him as much as he can now that the other one is not looking, collecting his towel from the floor, hanging in the bathroom with his own towel, walking to his bed. As soon as he’s sure that he’s completely covered and that Lucas is still sleeping, he takes his dirty underwear off, dropping it on the floor at his pile of clothes and he’s asleep before he can even realize it. 

-

 

It takes a minute for Eliott to understand what’s happening. 

He ran away, this is a hotel bed.  _ Lucas _ . 

He’s poking Eliott on his shoulder, no fabric between them. The duvet is still covering most of his body, he bundled himself carefully last night so Lucas wouldn’t wake up to Eliott lying naked just two meters away from him.

Eliott finally turns, laying on his back, smiling to Lucas, the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes. Soft, messy, brown hair, big, perfect, blue eyes, and puffy and (a little bit dry) lips. 

“Everything ok?” The other one nods, fixing his hair again, taking his hand off of Elliott's naked shoulder. Eliott tries to keep his eyes on Lucas’ but he can’t help but notice that Lucas is already wearing his black trunks.

“Yeah, I just wanna go to the beach and you never wake up so I decided to wake you up.” 

“Why?” Eliott stretches himself, pushing the duvet down to his last rib, smiling when he notices that Lucas’ eyes wander around his naked torso. Lucas blinks, trying to focus, looking at Eliott’s eyes again.

“Why?” He frowns when his brain seems to understand that there was a question, throwing his beach towel over his shoulder, crossing his arms. 

“Yeah. " We don’t know each other" , remember? And now you  _ need _ me to go to the beach with you?” Lucas rolls his eyes with Eliott’s teasing voice, raising his brows, his cheeks starting to blush and Eliott sits on the bed, probably looking so gone for the boy already. But both of them are still having fun with it so that's all that matters.

“Yes, I do. You’re coming or not?” Lucas looks down, slipping his feet to put on his flip flops. 

“Give me a minute and we’ll go.” He raises his eyebrows and Lucas smiles, turning back and getting out of the room, saying something about eating breakfast. 

-

Eliott can’t remember the last time he spent a whole morning just lounging at the beach. Lucas seems to be at ease. His skin is already starting to tan and he doesn’t seem bothered by it, reading a book and smiling every time their eyes meet. 

It’s been a long time but Eliott knows how he’s starting to feel. It’s a mix of too much beer, too much time under the sun and the heat and not much food, he’s suddenly very close to being drunk. He knows himself well enough so he stops before it gets too much. 

For now, it just feels good, like finally relaxing completely, on holiday. Lucas is not much different. His book is already forgotten by his side while he lays down on his beach hammock. Eliott sits up, looking at the sea in front of them, moving the sand underneath his feet.

“I’m gonna built a castle.” Lucas opens one eye, looking at him and smiling lazily. It doesn’t seem like he’s willing to help for now so Eliott decides to start without him, pushing his hammock chair away so he can sit on the sand and still be underneath the beach umbrella. 

He’s focused on his work but he manages to quietly look up a few times and now Lucas is just laying on his side, judging Eliott’s skills to build a sandcastle. When he’s done, he sits back on the sand, showing his castle to Lucas and waiting for his thoughts. 

“It’s good...for you but I’m sure any kid could do it better.” Eliott rolls his eyes, sitting back on his hammock chair, cleaning the swimming shorts that Lucas borrowed him. Lucas sits as well, looking around, distracted. 

“I’m hot. Can we get some ice cream?” Eliott doesn’t wait for an answer, getting up and stretching. Lucas follows him, doing the exact same, putting his cap back on. They collect their towels and go back to the main street, trying to find the popsicles that Eliott is dreaming about. 

“What’s your favorite ice cream?” Lucas starts walking backward, right in front of Eliott, smiling and making the other one smile while he tries to think on his favorite flavor. 

“I’m really bad at choosing this kind of things…What’s yours?” Eliott tries to look over Lucas’ shoulder, making sure that he won’t stumble on something. 

“Maybe dark chocolate, I’m not that picky.” He shrugs, starting to walk by Eliott side again. 

“You seem picky.” Eliott teases him, poking his cheek with his index finger. Lucas looks at him, shaking his head. 

“No, I don’t! And why you’re bad at making choices?” Lucas asks while he’s putting his shirt back on. It looks like very soft fabric and it’s a little big for Lucas, exposing his clavicle.

“I don’t know. I like everything so I can never choose.” He stops abruptly, putting his hand on Lucas’ shoulder, smiling when he pulls Lucas inside one ice cream place. 

Lucas looks at every option and the guy behind the counter offers him a bunch of flavors to help him decide which one he’ll get. It’s a small spoon just for him to have a taste but he manages to share it with Eliott, offering the spoon directly in his mouth.

He decides for dark chocolate and chocolate chips with cookie dough. He offers to share it with Eliott so he decides for something different, going with his first instinct: a blue popsicle. It seems refreshing and that’s all he needs after half a day laying underneath the sun. 

The place is almost full so they have to wait for a little. Lucas watches everyone around them carefully, resting his forearm on Eliott’s shoulder even though he’s shorter and Eliott can’t help but smile, following Lucas’ eyes around the crowd. 

Eliott is usually very closed off, has the worst time when having to talk to strangers but it feels different with Lucas. He’s so easy going, smart, kind and very handsome. When they’re leaving with their ice creams, Lucas is already talking to the guy who works there like they are friends, promising to come back before he goes back home. 

-

Lucas is staring. It’s not like Eliott is a bad dancer, it’s just that he’s doing the dance that you only do when you’re alone, inside your empty house while listening to your favorite song. 

And Eliott is doing it in the middle of the street while holding his blue popsicle and singing along to the music that comes from one of the restaurants. He stopped Lucas suddenly, trying to see where the music was coming from, he likes the music, apparently, very much. He tried to make Lucas dance with him but Lucas can’t dance, especially not in a public place with a bunch of strangers passing by.

They’re right next to the beach, at a very touristic city with a crystal clear ocean to see and a bunch of fancy stores to shop, so there’s a lot to look around, so it’s not like Eliott has anyone’s attention but Lucas’.

Eliott seems to be enjoying himself, forgetting completely about his popsicle while he steps to one side then to the other, singing to Lucas. He laughs, shaking his head, acting like he’s not having fun, but he notices the popsicle starting to melt, painting Eliott’s hand and wrist in a very light blue color.

Eliott stops dancing when Lucas carefully holds his wrist, licking the side of his hand like it’s nothing. Eliott is in awe, watching it. It only lasts a second but it feels like days. He swallows hard, still looking when Lucas finally lets go of his wrist and looks at Eliott in the eyes. Lucas doesn’t seem to realize how it affected Eliott, so he just smiles as nothing happened. 

But Eliott is still in shock, his eyes are probably giving it all away because Lucas starts blushing a little, looking away. 

“I think we should go back to the hotel.” Eliott manages to say and he can hear how his voice sounds shaky and rough.

“Ok…” Lucas agrees, looking at Eliott and they start walking again. 

They walk in complete silence all the way up the hill to their hotel. Eliott’s popsicle is forgotten on the first trash can he can find. His hand feels sticky but for once it doesn’t bother him, it’s like a reminder of Lucas tongue against his skin for the first time. 

He can’t help but look at Lucas while they’re waiting for the elevator. Thankfully, it’s empty and they keep staring at each other with no shame, maybe searching for some reassurance on the other one’s eyes. 

Lucas gets inside their bedroom first, with his hands behind his back, holding each other. And Eliott closes and locks the door. His heart is pounding, he’s almost sure it’s just out of desperation to get closer, to touch Lucas and so their hearts can finally meet midway. 

Eliott doesn’t think he has a type but it’s nice when he comes closer and Lucas’ face fits perfectly in between his hands and it’s even better when Lucas has to look up to find Eliott, so maybe his type is someone smaller, that he can hold with care, with eyes that seem to be begging him to take all his worries away, to answer all his questions, demanding Eliott’s full attention and care and he’s more than willing to stop the world, hold it and hand it to Lucas because he deserves it. 

The air feels heavy, cold and light, all at the same time. They never kissed before, they met two days ago and still, they need each other very badly right now. Eliott caresses Lucas’ cheeks slowly, looking in his eyes just one more time to make sure that he wants it too. 

It’s their first kiss, very slow at the start just because they want it to last forever, lingering every time their tongues touch. Eliott sucks on Lucas lower lip slowly, pressing his fingertips against the back of Lucas’ neck and the other one melts just a little bit more against Eliott, his hands holding Eliott’s forearms like he’s grounding himself. 

They stumble around the room, stopping when Lucas finds one bed. Eliott steps back slipping his hands out of Lucas’ face, finally letting himself open his eyes and Lucas looks exactly like he imagined. His hair is a little bit messier, his puffy lips are a little bit swollen and his eyes…

Lucas’ eyes feel like they’re as deep as the ocean, inviting but with so many doubts as well. Eliott stares at them while he puts his hands on the back of his neck, pulling the shirt, dropping it on the floor and Lucas does the exact same right after. 

He never really touched Lucas but just looking at his bare torso now, his abs contracting and relaxing with every breath, he knows Lucas’ skin is warmer than his and it’s so inviting. As soon as both of them get rid of their swimming shorts, Eliott steps closer again, kissing Lucas again, his cheeks are starting to blush. They got naked too fast and the other one could see everything so Eliott steps closer, kissing all their insecurities away and in a second they’re back to being comfortable, lying down on the bed carefully. 

Their hands have a lot of new skin to touch and to explore but they keep holding each other’s faces and shoulders like they need to make sure that they really exist. 

They’re strangers but it doesn’t feel like it. Their bodies seem to know their ways, how fast or slow it should go. Nothing seems too weird or too intimate or exposed. It’s the best sex Eliott ever had and ever will have. 

Eliott catches himself looking at Lucas from time to time with his eyelids half-closed and the other one always seems gone, never fully opening his eyes, constantly biting his lower lip when they’re not kissing. His ears are filled with moans and whimpers echoing around the room but he can’t be sure if it’s him or Lucas. His hands still wander around Lucas’ body, not knowing his favorite place to stop, but the hair it's recurring, Lucas' hair is soft and so inviting, but it keeps getting on Lucas' face and Eliott has to hold it at the top of his head so he can still see Lucas' reactions, his other hand is at his waist, feeling the goosebumps on his tanned skin. 

They can’t seem to get enough of each other, rolling in bed after the first round, trying to find new positions, new skin to touch and lick and kiss and Eliott can’t help but smile, pulling Lucas closer by the neck and he smiles against Eliott’s lip before kissing him again. 


	4. The next morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that's been reading, commenting and giving kudos. It really means the world that people are enjoying this fic. 
> 
> Anyway, a little bit more of light smut at the end of the episode.  
> Also, english is not my first language so I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes. 
> 
> Another shout out to the beautiful @starca2tic for the inspiration and for the help <3 
> 
> you can find me also on Tumblr: @ayellowcurtain

* * *

 

Looking at Lucas the next morning is the best and worst feeling ever. It’s only been days but now Eliott thinks he waited for too long. He lost precious hours that he could have spent kissing Lucas. 

They slept for just two or three hours but he can’t wait another minute. Lucas is still passed out on their bed. The sheet is covering Lucas all the way to his shoulder blades, his arms are hidden underneath his pillow. His face is buried in the pillow and Eliott smiles, remembering the feeling of Lucas’ breath against his chest minutes ago. 

He walks slowly around the room, opening the door to the balcony, letting the morning breeze go straight to the bed, caressing Lucas’ back. He moves around just a little bit, trembling. That’s the cue for Eliott to crawl on top of him, holding his weight putting one hand on each side of his head while he kisses Lucas' shoulder, slowly going up against his neck and what he can find of Lucas’ face. 

“I’m sleeping…” The other one whispers, licking his own lips but Eliott can see that he’s starting to smile. 

“It’s been too long. I want to kiss you.” Lucas moves around carefully, feeling that Eliott is not giving him much space for it. He finally lies on his back, laughing when Eliott doesn’t wait for another second, kissing him lazily. It’s a different kind of kiss from the other ones they’ve shared during the night. It’s slower, has some type of meaning that they don’t understand yet. Very different from when you’re stumbling around the room while rushing to take each other’s clothes off. 

Lucas slowly moves his arms, putting both of them around Eliott’s neck, asking him to come closer, to relax against Lucas’ body. He can feel Eliott big, inviting hands exploring around his body with no rush, stopping when he feels Lucas’ muscles contracting or relaxing, pressing his fingertips against it. 

Long limbs all tangled around each other, it’s hard to understand their position and how they got to it after kissing for hours and hours and hours. Their lips are dry and puffy and Lucas’ stomach is starting to make noises, he’s starving, his body is begging for some comfort food to recover from last night but staying in bed with Eliott sounds so much better. 

The noises didn’t go unnoticed. Eliott stopped as soon as he heard it, smiling while looking down, spreading his hand all around Lucas’ abs and it’s a weird feeling looking at it. Feels weirdly intimate to have Eliott caressing his belly like he was able to get pregnant and Eliott to be proud to be a dad. He shakes his head to try and forget the image, putting his hand on his hair while Eliott crawls down, laying down in between his legs again, kissing his belly slowly, then putting both hands on it to rest his chin, looking up to meet Lucas' eyes. 

“What do you wanna eat?” Lucas sighs, feeling his whole face heating up again just with the thought of a handsome man like Eliott in between his legs for the second time, both of them completely naked with marks and hickeys all over their bodies. 

“Their entire breakfast menu would be fucking amazing.” Lucas tries to stretch his top half, rearranging the pillow underneath his head so he can look at Eliott properly. 

“I don’t think we can afford that.” Eliott says it so easily and Lucas can’t contain a tiny moan from coming out of his mouth. 

_ We.  _

Eliott uses it like it’s their normal and Lucas can’t handle it. He’s been single for as long as he can remember and Eliott just makes it seem like they’ll be together for the rest of their lives. Like they’re already a couple after a single night together. The best night of Lucas’ life but it’s still only a night. 

He can’t think and Eliott just laughs, deciding for the two what they’ll eat. They’re both still sticky with sweat and come and a shower is needed but the food will come soon and so they should wait to take a shower afterward. 

Nothing better than to roll around in bed while they can, kissing each other and just staring at the deep sea that exists inside the other one’s eyes. After a while, Eliott starts making stupid love promises and Lucas still can’t believe it or respond. He knows it’s just a summer love kind of thing. But it still feels so good to hear it, to be watched by Eliott as he says it. 

Fuck it. He needs to stop worrying. If this is it, ok! He doesn’t want to hold back anymore. He should enjoy it for what it is, enjoy and live in their momentary bubble of endless love and intimacy that will end so. 

If this is sort of a small new life inside his main life he’ll enjoy it as much as he can, he’ll say whatever he has to say and what he feels because he needs to enjoy it fully. This is a parallel life and he’s enjoying every second of it. 

So he finally gives back, promising the world to Eliott and the other one stops for a second, giving him a big smile that goes to his eyes, wrinkling his cheeks and he looks so adorable. 

The breakfast is fucking amazing and they both try a little bit of everything. Eliott didn’t order the whole menu but he did order a lot and Lucas can’t even put into words how much his love grew even bigger with it. 

They keep trying everything then giving it to the other one directly in their mouths, licking each other’s fingers like that’s not too intimate for two strangers but they never talk about yesterday’s event with the popsicle but it’s clear that they keep reminiscing about it. 

-

Going to the beach was an amazing idea yesterday. They were in an amazing place so they should enjoy every bit of it but now the beach seems so normal compared to staying in. Showering together for almost an hour, making out while Lucas is sitting on the bathroom sink, finally putting some clean clothes on (Lucas' clothes, Eliott needs to go shopping soon), laying down on their other bed, they’ll take the sheets off the other bed when they get tired of kissing and touching each other. 

The sun is just starting to set outside and Eliott looks to their balcony, his hand still at the top of Lucas’ head, keeping his hair back. Lucas doesn’t like not having Eliott’s full attention on him so he puts his hands on the other one’s cheeks, making him turn and look back at Lucas like he’s been doing all day. 

“I wanna go on a date with you.” Eliott explains, brushing their lips together. 

“On a date?” Lucas smiles, touching Eliott’s lower lip with his thumbs, feeling how dry and puffy and inviting it is after kissing all day long. 

“Yes, let’s go eat on the beach, like a picnic.” He rolls to the side, getting off of Lucas and he tries to stop him. 

“Right now? I wanna stay here…” Lucas pouts and Eliott comes closer again, giving him a quick peck on the lips, whispering like it’s a big secret. 

“We ran out of condoms so we have to go buy them as well.” And Lucas doesn’t have an answer for that so he obeys, sitting up to go put some clothes on. 

-

Eliott can’t stop smiling, holding Lucas’ hand tightly as they walk to the grocery store. It’s a big store that has a little bit of everything. So they buy cheap wine, sandwiches, some fruits, water, salad, a small cake (Eliott insists on it, he cannot eat dinner and not have dessert afterward) and condoms. 

Lucas can’t stop blushing and giggling like a teenager while they’re picking the condoms. Eliott also keeps teasing him about it, doing everything so slowly, always watching Lucas’ reaction. He picks much more than they’ll probably need but Lucas can’t help feeling his skin tingling underneath his clothes when Eliott kisses him right in front of a massive shelf filled with all kinds and sizes of condoms. 

They bought all the food they needed but completely forgot about buying anything where they could sit and not get their clothes wet and dirty. 

“You can sit on my lap if you want to…” Eliott raises his eyebrows and Lucas rolls his eyes while holding their groceries. 

“Not gonna happen right now.” He nods, finding one of the beach hammocks so they can sit and put their things. 

Lucas puts everything on the chair while Eliott opens the wine, leaning against the backrest, watching Lucas in silence and smiling without even realizing it. As soon as he sits, Eliott pulls him closer by the waist, making his lean his back against Eliott’s chest, offering him some wine and Lucas accepts it, getting the bottle and drinking slowly, cleaning his lips with the back of his hand, giving the bottle back to Eliott. 

The daylight is gone, they can only see each other because of the street lights just a few meters away. 

“This is my first picnic ever.” Lucas says after a minute watching the waves crash, the water slowing down, spreading all over the sand and rocks. Eliott frowns, taking another sip of the wine, putting it on the sand right next to them. 

“Really?”

“I think so. I assume it’s not your first. I feel like you’re that guy that has a bunch of friends and always has something to do.” He can’t help but smile, looking at Lucas even though he can only see the back of his head and just a little bit of his profile. He thinks of Lucille for the first time since he left that ring at her door. 

“It’s more like I have people around me that have a lot of friends and then I’m just forced to tag along. You seem like you have a lot of friends as well.” Lucas shrugs, opening one of their sandwiches but he's still close enough that Eliott can keep his arm around his waist. 

“I have a few. Good ones.” Eliott comes closer, opening his mouth and Lucas puts the sandwich in between his lips and he takes a big bite. Lucas smiles, kissing the corner of his lips. 

“But this is different. I like having a picnic with you, on the beach on a summer night.”

“Yeah, it feels good.” Lucas relaxes against his chest, resting his head on Eliott’s shoulder while he eats their sandwich. 

“It feels perfect.” He whispers against his ear, feeling how Lucas shudders against him.

They stay in silence again, just feeding each other with their sandwiches and wine. Eliott loves hearing the sound of the ocean just meters away in an infinity of water and mystery. 

He was never the beach type of person but it changed over the last couple of days. Every memory with Lucas is also filled with the sound of the ocean, the humidity, the roughness of their skin and sand. Lucas’ smell is a mix of him, salty water and sweat. 

“We are good together, no?” Lucas laughs when he says it, blushing again, running his fingers through Eliott’s forearms, making him hold Lucas tighter. 

“I guess so.” He manages to say after a second but he’s still blushing, trying to hold back a smile. 

“Lucas...” 

“Yes, we are good together, the best.” He turns a little, looking at Eliott. His eyes are shining, Eliott can only see a little bit of the blue forming a ring around the edges. 

“That’s better. We fit together perfectly, don’t try to hide it.” He whispers against Lucas’ lips, smiling. 

“I’m not. It was...amazing.” Lucas nuzzles his nose against Eliott’s cheek.

“I want to please you, always.” He laughs and Lucas does the same, he has the most contagious laughter and Eliott never heard something like it. He’ll never forget about it. 

“You’re unbelievable, Eliott.” 

-

Lucas crashes into Eliott as soon as they’re inside their bedroom. And Eliott lets him do whatever he wants, smiling when Lucas pushes him against the wall. He’s way smaller but he’s not weak at all, holding Eliott in place while he kisses his neck. 

Eliott can only wrap both arms around his neck, looking up so Lucas can kiss his whole neck. Their wants and needs take over and Lucas loosens his grip just enough for Eliott to push his hip forward so they can walk around together on their way to the bed. Lucas turns them around again, letting Eliott lay down on his back, sprawling around and smiling when Lucas crawls on top of him, biting his own lip. 

“Come here…” Eliott manages to whisper, pulling Lucas down by his neck. It’s a obscene kiss, one that it’s probably illegal in public places. Eliott is hard as a rock, can’t wait to get rid of their clothes, his shirt got lost somewhere on their walk to the bed, he can’t remember how. But he pays attention when Lucas bites his lip, stopping the kiss to sit on his stomach, taking his shirt off. 

He looks carefully at every single muscle, putting both hands on Lucas’ sides, going up slowly to feel every muscle and his fast breathing. Eliott laughs when Lucas bumps their noses together, pulling Eliott back from his daydreams. 

“My turn.” Lucas whispers with a cute smile on his lips. And Eliott sigh, relaxing again on the pillow, caressing Lucas’ cheeks. 

“Yes. Ok.” That’s the only thing he manages to say, both of them smiling to each other, Eliott closes his eyes, feeling Lucas’ puffy lips kiss his chest slowly.

-

Lucas can’t believe his luck. He can hear the waves crashing right across the street but he’s not sure if the ocean is really that loud and rowdy. It might be his heart, pounding inside his ribcage and filling his ears. 

Their room is completely dark, but he opens his eyes, facing Eliott’s shoulder blades, his broad shoulders and his pale skin with a whole universe of freckles. He carefully wraps one arm tightly around Eliott’s chest, breathing him in, putting his other arm underneath his head, resting his hand against the headboard, spreading his body lazily across the bed, half on top of Eliott’s. 

Eliott has a mixed scent of saltwater, sunscreen, and  _ Eliott _ . 

Lucas is still getting used to it, but he’s already addicted to Eliott’s smell, especially if it’s mixed with their summer-y days. 

What is this? Lucas has to be back in Paris in a few days. It feels like a lifetime but it’s only been a few days and he can’t think of saying goodbye to this, to Eliott, cuddling with him in a big, comfortable bed where they just had sex hours ago.

Lucas comes even closer, tangling their legs together, burying his nose in the back of Eliott’s neck, breathing him in again. The older one moves just a little, his big hand coming to Lucas’ elbow, making his arm hold Eliott tighter. 

“Stop.” Lucas doesn’t even have the time to question what he needs to stop, Eliott is already able to read his mind. “Don’t think about it. We still have time.” 


	5. The wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well...here's where things start to get angsty. 
> 
> And I also added a tag, there'll be a little bit about Eliott's bipolar disorder in this chapter. 
> 
> In case you need anyone to talk to, you can always find me on tumblr (ayellowcurtain). Thank you again for all your support. <3

* * *

 

It was a long, mostly sleepless night for Lucas. He can’t be sure because he couldn’t see Eliott’s face but he was also restless all night long. 

It’s his aunt’s wedding tonight and he didn’t tell Eliott about it yet. The original plan was to just go by himself, play a few songs and enjoy the party, then he met Eliott and the plan turned into going there, spend a few hours with his family and rush back to Eliott’s arms. But now he wants Eliott there with him, can’t afford spending hours away from him while he has a choice. 

He can’t help a dumb smile on his lips thinking about Eliott wearing formal clothes, meeting his mom and his family. Eliott is so incredibly handsome, he’ll be the main subject of the wedding after the bride and the groom. 

Lucas closes his eyes when he notices Eliott finally moving, rubbing his eyes. He can feel the bed moving and Eliott is looking at him, coming closer. 

“I know you’re awake, stalker.” Lucas frowns, opening his eyes. 

“How did you know ?” Eliott laughs and Lucas comes closer, putting one leg around his waist, pulling him even closer, resting his hand on Eliott's chest.

“You barely slept tonight. What are you thinking about?” He puts one hand on the small of Lucas’ back and the other one on the top of his head, combing his hair, looking at his fingers running through the strands on hair.

“We need to talk…” Lucas looks down, his fingertips touching the small tattoo on Eliott’s chest. 

“We do?” He just nods with his head, thinking about how to say it and what Eliott’s reaction will be. 

“I have a wedding to go later today. That’s why I came here. It’s my aunt’s wedding and I took the opportunity to come a few days earlier to relax a little...And I want you to come with me, if you want to.” Eliott smiles, pressing his hand against Lucas’ back, pulling him closer and Lucas hooks his leg perfectly around Eliott’s waist.

“You sure you want me there with you?” 

“Yes.” Lucas looks up to meet his eyes again and he doesn’t seem bothered or insecure about it. Eliott's eyes are still soft and inviting. 

“Ok. I’ll go with you. But I need to buy clothes.” He talks so easily about it like he really wants to go. Lucas looks for any doubt in his expression for another second, he doesn’t want Eliott to feel uncomfortable but he seems ok with it. 

“Ok. We can go shopping.” 

-

Eliott is taking forever inside the fitting room. He tried a bunch of clothes but he didn't seem happy in any of them, even though he looked fantastic in all. 

Lucas could tell that he was getting a little anxious about deciding which one he should buy so he helped him and the final choice was black trousers, a black button shirt and a leather jacket that he really wanted. 

“Are you ok in there?” Lucas decides to ask, getting up, stopping close to the door and Eliott instantly opens it, looking like a scared wild animal holding his purchase on one hand.

“Yeah, sorry.” He smiles but it doesn’t go all the way to his eyes like usually happens. Lucas stands on his tiptoes, putting his hands on Eliott’s chest, kissing him softly. 

“We’re done now. It wasn’t that bad. And now we can go back to the hotel! We can eat a little, spend some time together, take a shower…” Eliott tries another smile, nodding his head and putting both hands on Lucas’ cheeks, kissing him again. 

-

Deep inside Eliott notices his feelings creeping up on him, very slowly climbing to the surface, making everything black and numb.

He wanted to go to this wedding with Lucas but now he doesn’t want anymore. There’ll be a bunch of strangers in there, in a small place, drinking and partying the night away while he doesn’t feel like it. He doesn’t feel like doing anything right now. 

He’ll meet Lucas’ family and they’ll look at Eliott and see how Lucas deserves better. Even if he's just a plus one to some aunt’s wedding he doesn’t really care about. Lucas is also nervous, biting his nails while putting his fancy clothes on, looking at Eliott through the mirror. 

“You don’t want to go.” It’s not a question and Lucas can read him so well it’s the weirdest thing. But he needs to go, needs to man up for once and do what others expect from him. 

“I want to, it’s just hard to get out of bed and put clothes on when there’s a hot guy as you right next to me, putting his fancy, sexy clothes on.” Lucas exhales relieved, turning to really look at Eliott, putting his black suit and it fits him perfectly. Eliott needs to get up and put some clothes on or they’ll be late. He needs to try harder.

And so he does, doing everything consciously or he would let his body take him back to the bed and stay there for days. 

-

“Can we hold hands tonight or we’re just friends?” He asks and Lucas stops buttoning up Eliott’s shirt, looking up. 

“What?” Eliott tries to give him a smile but it doesn’t work again. 

“Can we hold hands tonight?” Lucas seems upset by the question, finishing his task and stepping back before answering. 

“Yes, of course, we can, if you want to.” He can only force himself to nod, pulling Lucas closer again, kissing him just to make the other one happy and soft again and it works, Lucas melts into him like he always does and he seems to forget about the question. 

-

Eliott is trying to play his uplifting and social self while walking around the place, constantly holding Lucas’ hand or at least his index and middle finger when they walk to the bar or to get more food. 

The ceremony was beautiful, Lucas told him that he knew how to play the song on the piano and Eliott didn’t even know he was able to play the piano. 

Apparently, Lucas thinks he was invited just to play at the party. He doesn’t really see his family, everyone sort of disappeared when Lucas’ parents got divorced and he’s used to it by now, couldn’t care less about his family but his aunt acted like she cared enough and even paid for his trip to the wedding so he accepted. 

It seemed like a fair trade: to play a few songs in exchange for a train ticket and some money for the hotel and free wedding food that Lucas is indulging in a lot. Eliott isn’t hungry, just drinking a few beers and Lucas doesn’t complain about his lack of appetite, he's too worried about the time. 

The dinner was already served, everyone was starting to get drunk and his aunt was looking around, probably searching for him. 

“Shit. Guess I have to go.” Lucas buttons up his shirt again, putting his suit as well, putting a hand on top of Eliott’s, caressing the back of his hand. “You’re gonna be ok here by yourself? It’s just a few songs and then I’ll be back and we can go back to the hotel.” Eliott just nods, trying to smile for the third time to Lucas and he gets a quick kiss on the lips as an answer. 

“Good luck.” He manages to say before Lucas leaves him by himself at their table. He manages to finish his and Lucas’ beer while he watches the other one walking to the small stage, fixing his clothes and hair. 

-

For the first time, Lucas feels in control. These last couple of magical days with Eliott were all about doing what the other one suggested. He had just as much fun but he wanted to show Eliott how happy he was to spend this time with him and to take him as his plus one to the wedding. 

He’ll have to go back to Paris in a few days and they didn’t talk about it and he didn’t think about it until now, on his way to the piano. Lucas doesn’t know what will happen, he doesn’t even know if Eliott lives in Paris as well. 

It’s been such a long time since he played the piano for the last time but he thought about which song he wanted to play. He still knows a few songs but he needs to play his favorite one, it’s powerful and until today that was it, but now it has a different meaning to him. Even if they don’t have time to say it or to explain their feelings, he’ll show his to Eliott. 

Lucas sits on the bench, pulling it closer to the piano, breathing slowly, trying not to fuck everything up. He looks back one more time where he left Eliott. He nods quietly trying to give Lucas some type of reassurance. Eliott is still alone at their table so that’s good. Nobody went to sit with him and talk about Lucas being gay or something stupid like that. 

Eliott looks like a God wearing all black, everything fits him perfectly. His pupils were still blown when Lucas left him a minute ago, maybe it was a bad idea to smoke on their way to the wedding but they were both nervous and a bit shaky and Lucas couldn’t think of a better opportunity to finally smoke Arthur’s weed. Eliott also seemed relieved to have something to smoke and make them relax a little bit. 

Every girl and some guys around their age attending the wedding seem to be looking at Eliott but he never leaves Lucas’ eyes, biting his nails. 

_ He’s with me tonight.  _

Lucas forces himself to look at the piano, forget about everyone else but Eliott. He puts his hair back, touching the keys quietly for a second, making sure that it’s there and it’s happening, praying that everything will go perfectly. 

The room slowly goes quiet, you can only hear whispers and a few chairs being dragged against the floor and someone coughing. And then he starts playing. 

Soon he’s letting himself be pulled by the music and the notes, thinking about what it all means to him right now. His heart is racing, his body is overheating but it feels good, like certainty about his feeling and about his company tonight. Eliott. 

-

Eliott is having a very hard time. He’s exhausted, maybe the lack of sleep from the past days are catching up to him. He doesn’t dare thinking about his medication left behind in Paris. It’s probably still on his nightstand, staring at his empty bed for days, blaming him again for forgetting about getting the small flask before leaving the house. 

It’s been years and he still forgets about it. Maybe deep down he hopes he’ll be able to live his life without having some kind of drug controlling him when he doesn’t feel like being under control. 

He’s never been as happy as he’s been these days hiding from everyone else. He’s with Lucas and that’s all that matters. But he’s aware of the thousands of messages unread of his phone, the missed calls and the voice messages that Lucille left him. She can’t leave him alone. Ever. 

The moment he saw Lucas on that train station he knew his heart was taken. By the most beautiful human being and he couldn’t fuck this up, not today. At his aunt’s wedding.

Eliott could easily marry Lucas right now. If it was the hardest decision of his past life with Lucille it would be the easiest to just marry his boyfriend tonight and spend their lives together, running away all around the world, constantly traveling, tasting the best food, sleeping on the most comfortable beds, making love every night. 

He thanks the waiter when he finally brings more drinks, putting it on the table, taking the empty dirty plates and cups with him. Lucas is still playing so Eliott empties the new drinks, putting the empty cups back on the table. He can feel his hands cold but sweaty and his body buzzing with energy. He can’t wait to go back to the hotel. 

Lucas is suddenly by his side, the live music stopped playing, he looks around and the other guests are still applauding Lucas but everyone is moving around close to the dance floor to join the newlyweds. 

“Can we go home ? I don’t feel good.” He manages to explain, already getting up, feels like the world is spinning around him. Lucas frowns, nodding and coming closer, hugging him by his waist, guiding him out of the party. 

-

“ _ Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do  _

_ Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you  _

_ Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice _

_ Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you” _

 

He whispers against Lucas’ ear making the other one laugh, holding his waist tighter. They’re out of the party, walking on empty streets to their hotel. 

“How much did you drank while I was playing ?” Lucas teases him and he just rolls his eyes. He’s not drunk. 

“Not enough. I’m not drunk, I just think this is a party song and it fits the moment.” He shrugs, holding Lucas tighter. He’s trying very hard not to ruin his night, his vacation. If they were married, he would have to tell Lucas everything. 

He knows about him being bipolar but Eliott is not sure if Lucas understands what it means. He’s definitely not ready and he doesn’t have to be, Eliott wants Lucas to be happy, not a worrier that would become his nurse and he would lose interest in Eliott.

 

“ _ If we wake up and you want to break up _

_ That's cool _

_ No I won't blame you _

_ It was fun, Lucas _ .”

 

“That’s not how the song goes.” Lucas comes closer again, hiding his face against Eliott’s neck, kissing it and putting both arms around his waist to steady the other one. 

“I don’t know. I want this song to play at our wedding.” Lucas makes them stop, looking up. Eliott can see him again, his cheeks starting to blush and he’s trying to hold back a smile. 

“So we’re getting married ?” Eliott frowns, putting both hands on his face, brushing his lips against Lucas’. 

“Of course we are. A big fucking wedding. I wanna marry you, Lucas.” Lucas looks up to meet his gaze, he opens his mouth a few times but never says a word. “I would marry you right now if you wanted as well.” 

“I-We can get married sometime in the future.” Eliott chews his bottom lip, stepping back and starting to walk again, finally arriving at their hotel. 

Lucas is still looking at him, trying to ask for forgiveness without saying and without needing to apologize. Eliott is stupid for even talking about marriage when he left his ex when just the idea of getting engaged to her became a reality. 

“Eliott…” 

“Don’t worry, Lucas, it was just a stupid idea.” He locks the bedroom door after Lucas, taking his new clothes off and leaving in a pile right next to the door, he’s exhausted. 

“I-I like you. Really like you.” Eliott passes by him on the way to the bed, taking his underwear off when he’s under the covers, Lucas is still where he was a minute ago, looking like he’s about to cry, ashamed.  

“You don’t have to. I’m a whole lot of problems and it’s so fucked up, no wonder why you wouldn’t marry me, I get it, I know I’m asking too much. I need to sleep, we’ll talk later.” He doesn’t let Lucas answer him, making it clear that the conversation is over when he covers himself completely with the covers, trying to stay still so Lucas won’t bother him. 

The room is silent for a long time, Eliott is trying to keep his breathe slow so he won’t start sobbing and call Lucas' attention to come see what’s going on. The other one finally moves, walking around the room but Eliott doesn’t bother looking what he’s doing, he closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep for a little. Soon it will all be over and Lucas won’t even remember they existed. 

And Eliott will be the one thinking about it while he walks up the aisle to marry the girl he doesn’t want. He finally closes his eyes, hoping to be able to fall asleep tonight.    
  



	6. The discovery

* * *

 

For the last week or so Lucas doesn’t know what an alarm clock is but he knows this sound is not familiar. He opens his eyes just enough to try to find where the sound is coming from. The sun is starting to rise outside and he’s alone. 

The other side of the bed is cold to the touch so Eliott left a long time ago. 

But where? 

His phone is still ringing, Lucas rolls to the other side of the bed to get Eliott’s phone. The screen keeps flashing, waiting for him to accept or not the call. 

Lucille is calling Eliott. Whoever she is, she’s pretty and Lucas feels that he should pick up because there’s a bunch of other missed calls notifications on the screen.

“Hello?” He coughs, trying not to sound too rough and too weird picking up someone else’s call. 

“Eliott? Who is this?” She doesn’t sound too happy about talking to a stranger, maybe Lucas can sense a bitterness in her words. 

“Hm, Lucas? But it’s Eliott’s phone I just...don't know where he is.” He sits on the bed, looking around, the bathroom is also silent, their clothes are still all over the floor. 

“Where are you?” Lucas doesn’t know Lucille but she does not sound too happy to be talking to someone that’s not Eliott. And something in him makes him think that they won’t get along. 

“I-hm...In a hotel, on the coast…” He can hear her cursing on the other side, talking to someone. Lucas gets up on the bed, jumping to the floor, trying to put some clothes on while holding the phone with his shoulder. “Lucille? Where is he?” 

Her silences is not a comforting one and Lucas knows something is going on. They had an amazing time last night but on the way to the hotel something was off with Eliott, he was acting weird, talking too fast and about marriage. 

Lucas was not bothered by their conversation but Eliott seemed to take everything a little bit too seriously and he suddenly shut himself off, suddenly going to bed without explaining what was going on. 

“You’re the one with his phone, how will I know?” He wiggles his legs to pull his pants up, looking for a shirt on the floor. “Can you give me the address where you are?” 

Lucas stops for a second, looking at his shirt on his hands. It doesn’t feel right to pick up a call that was for Eliott and it feels even worse to give their information to a girl he doesn’t know. 

“I don’t have your number and Eliott’s phone is locked.” He comes up with the lamest excuse but he just needs time to find Eliott and talk to him. So he gives her his phone number and hangs up before she can ask for the address again. 

Lucas finally manages to put his shirt, throwing Eliott’s phone back on the bed, getting his and putting his shoes on, rushing out of the bedroom.

-

He looked everywhere he could in the hotel and he’s starting to panic after checking their bedroom for the second time. Eliott is nowhere to be found and Lucas has no idea of where he might have gone. His mind starts scrambling around his past week, trying to look for any information that might help. 

Eliott is from Paris so there’s no way he could have gotten far, it’s a new city for him as well. He remembers seeing Eliott looking at his phone but never actually using it to text someone, he just takes pictures and sends it to Lucas. 

He starts biting his nails, looking around the main area of the hotel again. The only place they’ve spent a lot of time in is at the beach. It’s the only place Lucas feels like he knows a little bit better. 

The sun is completely out now but it’s still very early, the beach is completely empty. Lucas walks around looking at every direction, trying to see something that could look familiar to him. 

He tries to call for Eliott but there’s no response, he checks the hammock chairs and still nothing. He’s almost turning away to go back to the hotel, he’s been walking for way too long and he might get lost. 

He sees someone sitting on the sand, almost half a mile away. He can’t be sure but it looks like Eliott. 

Lucas doesn’t care, rushing to the semi-naked person. His heart is sure before his eyes can be so he runs faster, kneeling in front of Eliott. He’s extremely cold, shivering and his head is resting against his knees, he’s only wearing his briefs and Lucas needs to get him out of there, into some warm, comfortable clothes. 

-

Eliott lost track of time a long time ago, it’s too cold for him to be able to think straight. He just needed to get out, to run away from that perfect fantasize world as fast as he could. The band-aids should be ripped out quickly so it hurts less. Lucas can’t have him as a burden, Eliott could feel himself slipping and he tried to fight it but it all came down crashing and burning during the night. 

Maybe going out wasn’t the best idea but he needed to soak it all in while he could. He fucked up again and Lucas would hate him forever so why bother staying in bed with him? He left before his body and hormones could take over. Sex would only make him feel worse. 

He lies down on the sand, feeling the water run up to his chest and then run away like the ocean can sense how fucked up he is. Slowly the water starts hitting lower, on his waist, on his hip, on his ass until he can only feel it lightly touching his feet. So he sits up, staring at the sea. He wants Lucas so badly but it might just be his mind playing tricks on him. 

Eliott never had sex with a guy before Lucas. He did everything else with a bunch of strangers in clubs but that was it. And then suddenly he’s drowning in all that’s Lucas. It swept him off his feet and it was all he wanted.

He covers his own face with both hands, realizing that he’s been crying, sobbing. Why does he have to be the one with all these problems? He’s not a bad person when he’s ok, it’s not fair that all of this happens with him. Where sometimes he can’t even be sure of who he is and how he feels. And if his feelings for someone are real or just a whim. 

There’s suddenly someone kneeling in front of him but he’s already numb. The person makes him look up. 

 _Lucas._  

He can’t really hear or doesn’t care to but Lucas says something, helping him get up. Lucas takes his shirt off, putting it on Eliott and it fits him awkwardly but it feels good to have a soft, warm fabric against his cold body. 

It’s a long walk back to the hotel, everyone is staring at him like the heartless monster he is. He can feel the sand scratching his back and his briefs hugging his legs too tightly but he doesn’t care, manages to take the underwear off and throws himself on the bed. 

He realizes that he’s still crying when Lucas kneels on the side of the bed, looking into his eyes, he’s almost crying as well, with his cheeks flushed, trying to hold one of Eliott’s hands. 

-

“Eliott, talk to me, please.” Lucas begs, he needs an explanation about what’s going on. Eliott is not well, it’s clear and he’s not responding either. Lucas thinks about what Eliott told him the day they met. About being bipolar.

He’ll learn about Eliott and about being bipolar later. Now he needs to know how Eliott is feeling. His phone starts ringing, he takes it out of his pocket. It’s a new number, must be the girl from earlier. Maybe that would make Eliott talk. 

“Lucille is calling me. She wants to come here and see you.” And he finally catches a glimpse of what he knows it’s Eliott. 

“She can’t see you. I don’t want her here.” 

“Ok, ok, but what-what do I tell her?” Eliott looks defeat and he just shrugs, Lucas tries again but there’s no answer. So he finally picks up the phone. 

“Hello…” 

“Hi, Lucas? Did you find him?” 

“Yeah...yeah, he’s back in the hotel with me. But he doesn’t want people coming here...I’m going back to Paris tomorrow and I guess he’s too so...maybe you two can talk tomorrow.” Lucas sits on the floor, feeling exhausted and defeated, looking at Eliott on the bed. His eyes are open and he seems to be listening now but his eyes are empty, Lucas can only see a glimpse of him very deep down in his perfect bright eyes. 

“I’m sure he’s not on his right state of mind to make decisions. I’m his girlfriend, I think I know him well enough. He’s bipolar, Lucas and-” 

Lucas is not hearing anymore. Eliott is bipolar like he said he was but he also has a girlfriend. And she’s willing to drop everything right now and go wherever they are to help Eliott. Maybe she’s right and he should just send her the address and forget about what happened between them. 

“-I don’t think he’ll be able to get on a train by himself tomorrow, so I should be there to help him. You don’t know how it’s like. I’m sure it was fun to have a getaway but you’re not the first, Lucas, you’re probably just another of his whims.” 

His heart is breaking in a million pieces and he can only feel it, there’s nothing he can do to stop it. The guy he’s falling in love with doesn’t even like him back. It was all just an excuse to run away from his problems for a few days and now it’s over. Eliott will be back to his lover’s arms and she’ll know how to make him feel better. 

Lucas can only look at him, he fell asleep while they were on the phone and Lucas is actually relieved because he doesn’t know what to do to help Eliott. He’s not talking, he spent the entire night alone, almost naked on the beach, crying his eyes out.

Lucas opened up to a stranger and now he’s getting what he deserved for it. Lucille was still talking on the phone but he hangs up. 

-

Lucas manages to get up, crawling to the armchair, sitting on it for the first time, watching Eliott sleep. His eyes are still wet and irritated from crying for hours.

Maybe that’s why he’s always being the single friend. He doesn’t know about relationships and about feelings. The first chance he got he fell head over heels in a week and now here he’s, not knowing if he’ll ever be able to get over it. 

They spent entire days together, he can’t be a whim. He checks his phone, there are new messages but he doesn’t open it, knowing it’s from Eliott’s _girlfriend._ It’s almost two and Eliott is still sleeping, but Lucas needs answers. So he walks to the bed, sitting behind the other one, looking at him, hoping that he’ll wake up by himself but he doesn’t. 

He tries to call for him, sits even closer, brushing the hair so he can see his face. Eliott slowly opens his eyes but he keeps staring forward to their balcony. He’s still not the guy Lucas is used to. 

“Eliott, you’re scaring me.” He whispers when he’s completely ignored. Lucas doesn’t know what to do. He thinks about all the messages unread and the missed calls on Eliott’s phone that he couldn’t see and he also thinks about Eliott’ state on the beach. He’s still a little bit cold and with his body covered in sand. 

Eliott finally moves, looking at him, his eyes are red, Lucas can’t understand if he’s furious or about to cry just like Lucas. 

“I like you, Lucas. But you don’t deserve this, I don’t want to scare you. I can’t be with you.” It’s not what he wanted to hear, of course not, but Eliott is hurt, actually, deeply hurt, Lucas can see how hard it is for him to talk right now. They both start crying. Lucas turns his back to Eliott, covering his face with both hands, trying to control himself. 

For the first time, it feels like they’re miles away from each other and they can’t reach their loved ones. 

-

He looks at his phone, going through the latest pictures. Now every memory is confusing, he’s not sure when they took the pictures but he’s glad they did. If everything goes wrong at least he’ll have these pictures to look at and remember that the days with Eliott were real. 

He’s so madly in love there’s nothing that can really take that feeling away from him. It already has deep roots in every thought, every feeling, every heartbeat. Lucas can’t just take it off and live without it. 

So he’ll have to do his part and know what’s best for them to continue whatever this is, together. 


	7. The train

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! This is it! The last chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so so much to every single one of you that read this crazy fic. I can't believe I made it and some people enjoyed! So thank you again for your time and all your sweet comments and kudos and everything else, you guys are amazing and so kind. 
> 
> It's over for Finding Polaris (or is it??)  
> But I'll still be on tumblr (@ayellowcurtain) posting prompts daily so come say hi!  
> Thank you again! Hope everyone enjoys this last chapter <3

* * *

 

Lucille was right, there’s no way Eliott could get on a train by himself today. As far as he knows Eliott didn’t buy his ticket back home yet so he just lets him sleep for as long as he wants while Lucas goes to the train station.

If Eliott is staying, Lucas can’t leave. And they need to talk. Or at least Lucas hopes they do. It’s almost nine, the sun is starting to set outside and Eliott is still sleeping. Lucas turns the fan on and lies down by his side, looking at Eliott’s back. 

He’s not shaking anymore, Lucas can see his body moving calmly. It was so hot during the day that his shirt has dried again but he can see the sand all over their bed and Eliott’s skin. 

Lucas puts his arms slowly around Eliott, trying to breathe as slowly as the other one. 

“I’m not going anywhere.”  Eliott is still a little cold for such a hot summer day and he stayed under the blankets for the whole day. “It’s our last night for now and you’re not even here with me.”

It wasn’t supposed for Lucas to fall asleep but it feels too good not to. He’s holding Eliott tight, using him as a pillow. Maybe he can enjoy a little bit more of them and forget about the rest of the world. 

He wakes up when Eliott starts moving slowly, turning to finally look at him. Lucas just wants to kiss him and take all his pain away but he doesn’t know if he can so he looks back, whispering:

“How are you feeling?” 

“Ok.” Eliott yawns, blinking slowly, rubbing his eyes. 

“Do you need anything?” He justs shake his head, opening his eyes again. “You look tired…” 

“I am tired. But you don’t know this kind of tiredness.” 

“I’m willing to learn if you want me to.” Lucas is scared and he’s just trying to reaching out to have some type of explanation. He doesn’t care about Eliott being bipolar, he’s more than willing to learn and to help him in every way he can. And now he just wants to know what’s going on. They’re strangers again but it feels like they’re in reverse roles, Lucas is the one chasing after Eliott, trying to get his attention. 

“I want to but I don’t think it’s right. I’m a big fucking mess, Lucas.” He tries to quietly come closer and Eliott lets him. 

“As I said, I’m willing to learn. I like you and it’s not something I can control so...If you like me too we can make it work.” Eliott looks away and maybe it’s really over, Lucas is just trying to hold on to something that doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe the whole time Eliott was really having an episode. 

“I like you. So fucking much. And I don’t wanna hurt you or cause you any pain. And I don’t want us to change…” 

Lucas should be more thoughtful and careful but he doesn’t, for a second he’s completely happy again to hear those words coming out of Eliott’s lips. 

_ I like you. So fucking much.  _

And he goes for it, putting one hand on Eliott’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss. It’s a desperate kiss, holding Eliott’s hair tight, licking his lips and his tongue, never having enough and sometimes Eliott makes it slower, holding Lucas’ face with both hands, not letting Lucas pull him to lay on top of his small body. 

It’s a dirty, long kiss and when Eliott tries to stop it he can only hear Lucas saying no and pulling him in again. And they go on and on for hours until Eliott forces them to actually stop, looking deep into Lucas’ eyes.

He looks down and Lucas is panting in between his puffy lips, still looking at Eliott, there’s still a tent in Lucas’ jeans. While they were making out he could feel Lucas’ erection but he couldn’t do much about it now. 

Their time is almost over and there’s still a lot to talk about. 

-

“We don’t know each other, you don’t know if you’ll like me in real life when we have to deal with parents, ex-girlfriends, college…” 

“I want to know you. And I like you, the “real life” is not going to change that. Ever since I met you, you’re the only one that matters. If you feel like trying, I want to know more about you, to go on dates, to start a relationship...” Lucas smiles for the first time in what feels like forever and Eliott takes a moment to just look at it. He has a perfect smile. 

Eliott looks at his hand, his thumb caressing Lucas’ cheek and Lucas’ hands on Eliott’s forearms, going up and down slowly. He’s trying (for Lucas) to make the most of their last night together but he’s still exhausted and feeling guilty for everything that happened and for worrying Lucas and everyone else. There’s still so much that he needs to tell Lucas about himself. 

“Who is Lucille ?” Lucas holds his hand, intertwining their fingers, waiting to look at Eliott when he already asked the important question. 

“You talked to her?” 

“Yes. There are a million messages and missed calls from her on your cellphone.” Lucas looks to his chest, to the small tattoo, avoiding to look into his eyes, he looks ashamed and Eliott can’t understand why. Lucas was worried and Lucille kept calling.

“She’s my ex girlfriend. I was supposed to propose to her but I ran away and met you instead.” He makes Lucas look up, nuzzling his nose against Lucas’.

“ _ Putain _ …” He can see in Lucas’ eyes that he’s reevaluating every opinion he has on Eliott after knowing that he ran away from his almost fiancée. 

_ I won’t leave you for someone else, Lucas.  _

“I’ll talk to her when I get back. But we’re not together anymore.” He wants to tell how he doesn’t love Lucille, how it was all fake feelings and that it’s not Lucas’ fault. But he can’t, he’ll have to do it another time when he feels better. 

“Did you tell her that? She said to me she  _ is _ your girlfriend…”

“No, I didn’t, but I left her ring at the door and went missing for a week. But that’s the first thing I’m gonna do. That’s all you’ve been worrying about?” 

“No, but it’s a big one. I never met someone that is bipolar before. Why didn’t you tell me about it? That you weren’t feeling too good.” Lucas puts his hand on Eliott’s neck again, pulling him closer and Eliott lets himself relax on his chest. 

“I didn’t want to ruin the wedding for you. And I was too distracted to care about it. But I take medication for it and I go to therapy...sometimes.” 

“But you didn’t take anything while we were here.”

“I forgot my medication at home. Can we talk about something else?” Lucas is taken by surprise, nodding his head. Eliott takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and Lucas’ hand instantly comes to his face again. 

_ He’s just curious and trying to help. Don’t be a fucking idiot, Eliott.  _

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t need to apologize.” He opens his eyes and Lucas comes closer, kissing his whole face slowly, looking at him while doing it. 

“You just need to know that even if I was feeling bad, if I kissed you was because I wanted to, badly. And if we had sex is also because I wanted it too. I wasn’t lying to you. I fell in love and I hope you did too.” Lucas gives him a coy smile, blushing a little. “I want to be with you, Lucas.  _ You _ .” He smiles against Lucas’ lips. 

“You want to eat something?” Eliott shakes his head, kissing Lucas’ cheek, running his fingers through Lucas’ soft hair. 

“I’m not hungry.” 

“You have not eaten all day, Eliott.” He puts his thumb underneath Lucas’ chin, carefully making him look up so he can have access to his neck. 

“It’s almost 4 a.m. I’ll eat breakfast with you soon.” Lucas lets him kiss his neck, but Eliott can feel that his body is tense so he looks up. “I’m ok, I promise. I’ll try to eat breakfast.” 

Lucas is still a little worried, looking down and Eliott has to turn his head, trying to get Lucas to look at him. Slowly he lays down on top of him, liking the feeling of their bodies together, feeling every muscle, every breath that Lucas takes. 

He looks at Lucas, making sure that he’s comfortable, quietly putting one hand on his belly underneath his shirt. Lucas’ skin is so warm and soft, he’s still looking Lucas in the eyes while going up with his hand, touching Lucas’ chest, feeling his heartbeats. 

Lucas doesn’t seem against it so Eliott lifts his t-shirt, stopping at his neck and Lucas wiggles himself, helping Eliott take his shirt off. 

“I thought you didn’t want to…” Lucas finally says and Eliott can feel the goosebumps in his skin, making it rougher. 

“What? To have  _ sex _ with you? It’s our last day together.” 

“Forever?” He can feel Lucas’ hands quietly going underneath his shirt, at the small of his back. 

“No, just for a few days. We’ll meet again back at home.” Lucas smiles, pressing his fingertips against Eliott’s back, pulling him closer and he goes willingly, slowly licking Lucas’ neck all the way behind his ear. 

Lucas doesn’t waste another moment, pulling Eliott’s shirt and taking it off, putting to the side. Eliott wishes he could see his boyfriend’s face, but he’s kissing his neck and licking it and he can only hear Lucas’ soft moans. 

As soon as he pulls back just a little, Lucas turns his head, bumping their noses on the way to another slow and dirty kiss, sucking Eliott’s bottom lip and he returns the favor instantly before getting out of bed to take Lucas’ pants off. 

Lucas rushes to the end of the bed once they’re done with his pants, smiling while pushing Eliott’s briefs down, pulling him by the waist back to bed, laying on top of Eliott, having his help to take his own underwear off, anxious to kiss Eliott again, slowly grinding against him. 

-

People usually look at him with so much doubt, with concerning eyes, always thinking that he’s gonna break at any second. 

But Lucas is so different and so special. He looks at Eliott in a way he can’t wrap his head around. His perfect blue eyes always sort of ask questions that neither of them has the answers to but Eliott is willing to discover for him. He looks at Eliott like he has all the answers and even if he hasn’t, Lucas is willing to follow Eliott to the end of the world to discover everything together. 

Seven days. It feels like an entire life. Eliott is sure he never lived as much as on this trip. 

It was supposed to be his first time traveling alone, something about finding himself and his purpose. But then Lucas was on that train, Eliott had to introduce himself and he became Lucas’ shadow. And he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 

But they didn’t talk much about the future, their actual lives outside the trip. Lucas knows about his girlfriend, about his mental health, but that’s it. They never talked about what would happen today, when they would have to go their separate ways. 

Eliott is leaving later, so Lucas is the one who has to say goodbye. He doesn’t know what to say and if there’s anything to say. So they just hug each other tightly for as long as they can. 

“Bye...take care of yourself.” Eliott smiles, nodding to him while running his fingers through Lucas’ hair, putting it back, looking at his own work.

“Hey, look at me.” He can’t help but ask and Lucas obeys, looking at him. He has nothing to say, Eliott just wants Lucas’ attention on him one last time “Thanks for letting me stay with you this week.” Eliott whispers against his lips, his thumbs caressing Lucas’ cheeks slowly. 

“No problem...I have to go.” Eliott just nods again, letting go of Lucas slowly, helping him put his backpack on one of his shoulders. 

Lucas walks away before he can’t do it, repeating in his head to not look back. It was just a holiday, now it’s back to real life. He holds his backpack tighter.

His feet are turning back before he can think too much about it. Eliott is already walking towards him, smiling when Lucas turns around. 

“I’m sure there’s a whole storm waiting for me back home, but I’ll call you as soon as I can, ok ?” Eliott says in between quick kisses, crashing their lips together every few seconds.

“Ok, I’ll be waiting. Don’t take too long.”

“I won’t, promise. I might need some place to stay soon.” Lucas laughs, hugging him tight again but it’s different now, it doesn’t feel like the last hug they’ll share. 

“Just say it when and I’ll send you my address.” Eliott whines, wrapping both arms around Lucas’ waist, nuzzling his face against Lucas’ neck. 


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at that! Surprise, surprise! 
> 
> Just a little closure as a thank you to everyone that read and left sweet comments.   
> You can find me (and a little bit of extra content from Finding Polaris) on tumblr (@ayellowcurtain) 
> 
> Enjoy it, everyone!   
> (this is really the end now)

* * *

 

 

 

It’s been two weeks. 

Lucas is still nervous. And he still feels the same about Eliott. They’ve been texting but they never met after their goodbye at the train station. Eliott is dealing with his family and Lucas doesn’t wanna bother. 

If things go right he’ll meet Eliott’s parents one day so he doesn’t want them to have a bad impression of him right at the start. 

Eliott keeps sending him photos of their time away and with every picture, Lucas understands what are the “butterflies in the stomach” that everyone couple talks about. He can’t wait to see Eliott. 

Sometimes when they text it can feel too much like friends for Lucas’ liking but he doesn’t say anything about it. He doesn’t really know what they are after all. 

Things are finally starting to calm down and Eliott wants to go on a  _ date. _ They’ll meet tomorrow afternoon for a coffee. Lucas can’t sleep thinking about it and what their date could lead to. 

It’s just coffee but it’s at a weird time of the day. Too late to be just a normal date and too early to be a date where they can go somewhere else after the coffee. 

 

**to Lucas:** _I miss you_

**to Eliott:** _do you_ _?_

**to Lucas:** _yes, terribly. I know I’ve been a bit distant but it’s just because I don’t want to drag you into this drama. But yes, I miss you._

_ can’t wait to see you tomorrow.  _

**to Eliott:** _I miss you too and don’t worry. I’ll be waiting for as long as you want me to :)_

**to Lucas:** _we have time tomorrow, yeah?_

**to Eliott:** _I think so…_

_ why?  _

**to Lucas:** _maybe we could go somewhere else after the coffee. Like a real date._

 

Lucas bites his lip, trying to contain his smile, staring at his phone, just taking the message in, enjoying as much as he can. He wants a coffee date, a dinner date, a late night date, and even a sunrise date if Eliott is up for it. 

 

**to Eliott:** _ ok. If you want, we can go eat or something.  _

**to Lucas:** _I’ll plan something chill for the two of us._

_ Sleep well, I’ll dream about you like always. _

**to Eliott:** _you dream about me? since when?_

**to Lucas:** _since I met you. Maybe tomorrow we’ll finally sleep on the same bed again <33 _

**to Eliott:** _can’t wait._

 

-

 

Lucas is rushing out of the bus. He’s already five minutes late. At least he knows where the coffee shop is so it doesn’t take too long to get there but he stops at the door, looking inside. 

Eliott is already there but Lucas can only see his back while he is waiting for his coffee. 

He’s still very handsome. His hair is just a little shorter and he’s using a black jean jacket that’s too big for him. It’s good to see Eliott in other clothes than what he used on their trip. 

Lucas finally opens the door and comes in, waiting for Eliott to notice him when he turns. He’s trying to be chill but soon Eliott notices him, he grabs the cup of coffee and comes quickly to meet Lucas, putting his cup on an empty table, holding Lucas’ face with both hands still warm from his coffee. 

Lucas’ head tilts up unconsciously and Eliott crashes their lips together, making Lucas step back to balance himself, putting his hands on Eliott’s sides. 

“Hi!” Eliott is the first one to say something after their kiss, still smiling brightly. 

“Hi. How are you?” 

“Good, better now. And you?” Lucas nods his head, still trying to contain himself and failing, he thinks about just saying good but his lips answer differently. 

“Better now.” 

“Good! Do you want a coffee or something?” 

“You said we could go somewhere else…” Eliott raises his eyebrows, getting his coffee and drinking a little. Lucas just wants to be with him, preferably alone. 

“Yeah, we can go somewhere. My mom let me stay in my aunt’s small apartment until I figure my future out so...We can go there. I stopped by earlier and I might need some help decorating.” 

Lucas shakes his head, he definitely doesn’t need coffee today, he’s already so energized that can barely control it. Lucas can feel goosebumps rushing through his body every few minutes, his heart is racing, his skin feels extra sensitive. 

Eliott should be the one to talk whenever he feels comfortable but Lucas is too anxious, he needs to know how things went. 

“So...how was coming back home?” Eliott frowns just a little but he’s trying not to laugh so it can’t be that bad. 

“Remember that night...after we had sex for the first time and I took you to the bathroom to take a shower with me?” Lucas feels his body warming up instantly just thinking about it, he laughs and shakes his head, looking at Eliott. 

“I do. You didn’t wait for the water to warm up and it was fucking freezing.” 

“Exactly and we were still...horny and making out and feeling so good but then came the freezing cold water. That’s how it felt to come back home.” 

Lucas couldn’t stop blushing, amazed by how Eliott talks about their first time like it’s nothing while walking in the street filled with people, drinking his coffee. But he stops reminiscing when he finally understands what that night had to do with Eliott’s family and Lucille. 

He let it sink for both of them for a second. 

“And how are you? After everything.” 

“It was exhausting but I’m sure of my decisions. It was the right thing to do, to break up with Lucille, she knows that too. They’re all just upset, they think I just threw it all away out of spite.” 

Eliott takes a big sip of his coffee, throwing the empty cup in the trash, tapping his jacket, finally finding his keys, showing it to Lucas. 

“And did you? Threw all away out of spite.” They stop in front of a small, old building, Eliott unlocks the door and lets Lucas in after him. 

“No. I was done and I just didn’t tell them in advance. And then I met the man of my life and everything else suddenly didn’t matter.” 

Lucas thanks that they are in a dark room, the entryway light doesn’t light up when Eliott closes the door. Lucas is thankful because that means he can’t see how dumb and in love Lucas probably looks like. 

He turns his phone on and soon there’s a light guiding them to the stairs, Eliott smiles at Lucas before rushing upstairs to the third and last floor. Lucas tries to catch up but Eliott has the longest legs and when Lucas finally gets to the third floor, there’s already an open door and Eliott is nowhere to be found. 

Lucas is a scared cat. It feels weird to go inside somewhere you don’t really know. But he gets in anyway, there’s no other place for Eliott to be in. From what he can see it’s a very small apartment, there’s not much in it, but he can see that Eliott cleaned everything. There’s a big mattress on a fancy rug in the middle of the main area, some candles lightening the space around the bed, a bucket filled with ice and a bottle of champagne. 

There’s a kitchen to the left but Lucas doesn’t care about it right now. He can sense Eliott behind him, closing the door but he can’t help but jolt a little when the door finally closes. 

Eliott shows up in front of him, smiling, opening his arms. 

“So this was your plan all along. To lead me here.” Lucas teases him, trying to play it cool, ignoring his own flustered face.

“And it worked, didn’t it? I said I wanted a real date, something chill with you and I said that we could sleep on the same bed again and I wasn’t lying.” 

Lucas looks around again. Eliott probably spent way too much time planning all of this. 

“You’re unbelievable.” He has to look at the other one again when he steps closer, looking Lucas in the eyes. 

“I’m so in love with you, Lucas. I want to be with you.” Lucas has to bite his lip again, trying to hold back his smile but he’s never been so happy to hear Eliott’s words. 

After everything they went through, Lucas was so unsure if what happened before was real. If every word that Eliott told him had any real meaning. Hearing him again gives them a whole new meaning. Lucas is in love and he’s more than ready to be in love for the rest of his life. 

  
  
  



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